Hello hi.

Empty

2010-04-07T19:03:00.001-07:00

I need someone to talk to,
but there's no one for me to talk with.

That's how sad my life is.

For once I know what sacrifice means

2010-03-18T19:35:00.000-07:00

You say you will change for me, for this relationship, but what’s the point?
You know I’ve always been passionate about this relationship and give everything to it. I’ve always been myself and I want you to always be yourselves too. As I told you, if a person has to change in order for a relationship to work then it is no longer love but sacrifices. Will you be happy if you change? Nobody would.

I hope you don’t ever think that I wanted to leave you because of your attitude and behavior. You shouted, scolded, beat and even slapped me, I don’t give a damn about all these things. I’ve never want to leave you. Never once in my life. But I just want you to realize what u are getting into if u were being with me. I might not always be there for you and it might be for months which I know you couldn’t take it. You said you will accept it, but my question is will you be happy?

As I grow up I have bigger responsibilities towards my family, you as well as my studies and work. I don’t have much time to spend with my family before and I really want to spend time with them. I have to accept that they are old, and they don’t have much time with me left. I just want to spend all the moments I have with them. Out of my 18 years of life, I have only lived with them for about 7 years. In that 7 years, I rarely saw my dad as he’s a workaholic and always go home late. In that 7 years I’ve seen my mum struggling to raise me and my siblings up and suffers from depression. I just want to spend time with them and show them that I appreciate everything they do for me. Well at least for once I just want to show them that I really love them. I can’t miss this chance and I don’t want to regret anymore.

On the other hand, I know you will be struggling waiting for me to come back. You will be struggling not seeing me for months. I know you will be in great pain. You have to think of yourself also. You have to find your own happiness also. Only then I could feel happy seeing you happy.

All I’m trying to do is that “I don’t want you to struggle with me and my life when you don’t have to.” You have the option but I don’t. I just want you to think wisely for this.

The most memorable moment of my life

2010-03-18T01:45:00.000-07:00

For once,I saw my dad, who rarely spoke to me, always be fierce and scolding me me, shed tears when I was boarding my plane.

My heart broke.

In the name of God

2010-03-18T01:30:00.001-07:00

I’m currently having my attachment. I come to work everyday for nothing, do nothing, learn nothing and think that I’m wasting my time. But slowly I realized that I’m learning something very meaningful at my age which is how hard this life is. How bored you are, how tired you are, how lazy you are, how sad you are or even how sick you are, you still have to work in order to survive in this life. I’m not born with a silver spoon and I don’t like to be spoon-feed as well. Only until today, I finally realized everything that I have wasted and lost. I have wasted my time playing, wasted my money on stupid stuffs and most importantly wasted my parents money.
How long more could they live in this world? I don’t know why but this question always appear in my mind. Yet I have wasted their time and effort to teach me to do the right thing yet I chose to do the opposite. For that I’m really sorry.
There’s nothing I could do to pay them back. It’s really not easy to raise me, yet they still able to do it. My mum once suffered from stress mainly because of me. I always argue to her and want to do things my way. But, only until now then I realize how much she has sacrificed for me. My parents expect a lot from me as the rest of my siblings doesn’t have good education. They have been trying their best making me studies, paying for my tuition classes and stuffs. But what have I did? When I was in Primary 6 , I insulted them for sending me here. Throughout my secondary school life, I disappoint them with my results. And now in my Poly Year, I have wasted 2 years.
Is only until today that I realized all the sacrifice they made for me but I have been only just a disappointment for them. My parents are old and my father even has a heart-disease from smoking too much. How long can he stay on? I couldn’t even make him proud until this moment. I’m just afraid that I don’t have a chance to. My heart is seriously hurting. I just hope that I could spend more time with them but I can’t.
I don’t even have anything to offer to my parents at all. I’m a man with nothing but regrets. Regrets which can never be paid off.

To Mom & Dad,
Here I would like to apologize for everything that I’ve done. I know this word of “sorry” will never reach to you and you will never know about this post. However, deeply down my heart, I just want to apologize for everything. I just want to let you know that your son here has finally become a man. For that he will stop doing all the stupid things he always does. For that he will try to his very best to make you proud. For that he will appreciate everything you have done for me. For that he will learn from all his mistakes and never repeat it again. For that you will always in my heart. Thank you for everything.
Love,
Your son, Andrew

Happy Chinese New Year

2010-02-15T22:50:00.001-08:00

Sorry for not blogging for such a long time.
Have been busy with exam and school.
And I just got posted to Resorts World for my attachment.
I will be working there until end of April if I'm not wrong.

Have been going around with Darling's family for CNY.
I just feel awkward and feel like an extra to be there.
Cuz all are family except for me.
Well maybe in future I will be,
I dunno.

There's actually something that kind of bothering me.
I just feel that even when we're together everyday,
and you are having holiday,
yet we don't communicate much.
I dunno why I just feel that way.
Everytime I try to talk to you,
You just seems not wanting to reply or tired.
Everytime I hold you,
You just seems not to care or tired.
Darn.

I guess next week will be worse,
Both will be working,
If this continue then it won't be good.
I know you won't be happy to see this,
but what's the point if I hide my feelings?
It means that I did not tell you the truth,
in other words it means that I lie to you,
I don't want that to happen that's why I spit it out.
I hope you understand.
And I hope we can do something about it.

That's my New Year Resolution.

Andrew is...

2010-01-19T06:22:00.001-08:00

Yey!
Just got back my Biz Finance results,
got 29/30 wohoooo!
Andrew just pawned BusinessFinance for 29 marks.
Andrew is dorminating!

But I guess on Thursday EFMA may end my streak -.-"
I don't know why I have been scoring well for my tests,
Maybe I have been eating more,
therefore my brain also grow bigger!
Teheee!

Anyway today I bathe that little dog.
He was so adorable.
Haha
But smell like fish!

Happy New Year

2010-01-16T08:07:00.000-08:00

Hello people!
Whoever that read this blog.
Well it seems like only my darling read -.-"

Have been busy with school work lately..
Exam, project, homework and stuffs.
I really really wanna do well in my studies.
I don't want to play around anymore.
Thinking of my future makes me worry at times.
So I really have to study hard.

Looking forward to finish my final year exam,
then CNY holiday and also my attachment.
So excited.

Darling has been busy working everyday also.
Here pain, There also pain.
Everywhere pain.
But I dunno what to do,
Give moral support only.
Teeheee
Jiayou!

That small small little girl

2009-12-20T18:47:00.001-08:00

So happy to see my niece again,
she has grown older by months,
but her size is getting smaller -.-"
They say she's too pro-active,
Keep walking here and there,
even though she cannot walk.
She keep crawling and crawling,
day and night.
Good way to lose weight,
that's why she come smaller and smaller in size.

She's got a new baby brother.
If you ask her where is jie jie?
she will raised up her hand.
If you ask her to sayang her baby brother,
she will sayang so roughly and grab him tight.
So cute of them.
so happy to be their uncle.

Yesterday she look like a little princess,
so pretty,
so cute,
also so naughty.
keep "Woooooooh,Woooooooooh,Woooooooooh"
which nobody will ever understand,
what she's tying to say.

Back to my hometow

2009-12-19T09:28:00.000-08:00

Finally reached Indonesia...

Phew...Reached about 4.30 Singapore time,
but travel around and help my brother around ended up at hotel at about 12.00.
So sad to know that my darling feels so lonely.
Hais,
How I wish I could accompany her.
I'm sorry.

I'm happy that she officially seen my mum,
and my mum officially saw her,
and my mum likes her a lot and keep saying she's white and pretty.
So glad to know that.

Hope you will be fine darling,
I will be back asap.
Work will kill your time.
Don't think too much,
and wait for my return okaes?

Love you lots!

Fuuuuuyoooooh!

2009-12-15T07:48:00.001-08:00

Finally finish almost 80% of all my projects!
Holiday is coming so soon, which is like next week?
I will be going back and darling will be working.
Glad that she got the job,
at least she won't be sad staying at home alone.
Hope she will do well in her current job.

Goodluck hunns!

Will also be searching around for information,
on setting up new business.
Darling will be the boss and I will only be the helper.
Get no pay summore.
Sad isn't it?
Anyway, I'm just kidding.
It doesn't matter as long as she enjoy what she's doing.

Tomorrow will be going school to do project,
and will be back before 1.
So great!
I'm so happy!

Weeeeeee!

2009-12-12T06:02:00.000-08:00

People,
I will be going back to Indonesia again
on 19th December 2009..
Looking forward to play with my niece,
also to see my nephew!
Then will hope to shop for some stuffs also.

I'm glad that my darling has finally gotten herself a job.
She will be working with a facial company called "Ucara"
at Novena Square.
She would be signing a 6 months contract with them also.
I'm so proud of you hunns!
Big muahhhhhh!
Hope you would succeed okaes?
And remember to do your best!
I love you okaes?

In the meanwhile I will be studying very hard,
to get a good results,
and a good future.
Good luck to myself and everyone!

I might be pissed off

2009-12-02T08:08:00.000-08:00

You know that I've always give in to you.
You know that I'll always give in to you.
Then why are you still saying as if in future I wouldn't?

Am I that bad as you think I am?
Am I not serious enough about this relationship?
Do I seem to take this as a joke?

Ask yourself all those questions.

I hope one day you will never think that I will leave you.
Because I won't.

Fcuk

2009-12-01T02:49:00.000-08:00

Grrrr,
Just came back from school also need to study!
Bloody exams.
And darling is working at Bugis now.
Hahahahahahaha!
Kesian sia she.
Have to do dirty jobs eh.

Hope you faster get your facial job,
so that you don't have to work at Bugis anymore.

Sigh.
Tomorrow have to sit for Marketing Management,
Friday have to sit for Business Law,
Next Tuesday have to sit for HRM,
Next Thursday have to sit for ICTs.
WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!

BM0823 just pawned AndrewGM for 250G.
Nanyang Polytechnic is Owning!

I'm glad

2009-11-27T06:15:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to blog about.
I'm just happy that my darling got a new dog.
The name is called "Laptop",
since it costs her, her laptop.
Well, I'm really happy for her.
It's kind of cute,
and his eyes is pretty and make people feel so kelian.
Like trying to say "Adopt me" like that.
Hehe

Anyway, Starhub is trying to be a shyt.
Lagging out of nowhere.
The weather is totally fine,
yet the connection is slow as hell.

Dear God

2009-11-25T05:36:00.000-08:00

Finally,I'm back here in Singapore
I'm kind of happy but also sad
Happy that I'm with my darling now
But sad that I'm not with my family.

Why can't this world be just one?

I'm kind of bothered with everything that happens now
Where's the bond that once we used to have?
How did this disappear so quickly?
Sigh...

God,
I pray to you,
Please let us have it all back,
I don't want this to happen.
Give us back,
That's all we need.

I admit that I rarely bow before you,
but here I am,
With all my heart,
I hope you would grant my wish,

To my father,
Please stay healthy.
To my mother,
Please don't give up on any of us.
To my sister,
Please stay strong.
To my brother,
Please come back like how you used to be.
To my niece,
Stay happy always no matter what happens.
To my nephew,
Be someone successful and take a good care of your mommy.

I pray to you God,
Please grant me these wishes.

I'm sorry darling if I've hurt you in anyway,
Sorry that I go MIA and make you worry,
Sorry that I've to leave you for sometime,
Sorry that I couldn't take care of you,
Sorry for everything,
I love you.

3 more days..

2009-11-16T06:13:00.000-08:00

I'm going so soon,
in like 3 days,
why is it so fast?

I'm sad that I've to go,
you know that,
so please help me along,
by taking a good care of yourself.

You're my only darling,
for whom I love as much,
I hope you will promise,
to take a very good care of yourself,
while waiting for the day,
when I would arrives

With Love,
Andrew

Why...

2009-11-15T08:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday catch 2012 show at Lot 1,
kind of worth it because its 150min+..
Then today stay home all do,
play CS and Dota,
also pei my darling...

4 more days then I have to go back,
dunno what to expect,
Good things is that I don't need to go to school,
Bad thing is that I still have to study for my exam,
Worse thing is that I have no friends down there
Worst thing is that I can't be with my darling.

Hehe..
She'll miss me a lot,
I'm so delighted :)
Got to go.
Bye!

Hmmm...

2009-11-12T08:27:00.000-08:00

Few more days before I go back Indonesia,
I have enjoyed my day with my darling,
also with my classmates.

I don't really know what to say,
because there's nothing much happening today.
School has been very boring and tiring,
I just wished that I could stay at home all day.

Darling is injured and sick,
I hope she will get well soon,
I'm much more than willing to do anything,
just to take a good care of you.

Muahhhhhh!

Tired,

2009-11-10T08:07:00.000-08:00

Darling is sleeping now,
I don't want to disturb so a short one will do.

Have been busy with schoolwork and project,
I really need a rest.
Today celebrate Sherwin's birthday,
and I ate until so full.

Tomorrow school ends early,
so I will be cooking for darling.
Most likely make popiah for her,
since she's sick

That's all for today!

Stop it!

2009-11-09T07:57:00.000-08:00

Happy 10th Month Anniversary darling!
Sorry that I've forgotten about that.
Looking at the calendar,
I realized that I have 8,5 more days to spend with you.
sigh...

Well today I cooked fish porridge for my darling,
because she's not feeling well,
thanks to me =(

I whole day smell like a fish and its kind of irritating
and now I keep thinking that I still smell fishy.
I'm not though.

Went out with darling to buy present for her cousin,
I also buy a BIG lollipop for my niece.
Hope that she'll like it.

Darling also get a new bag,
and I got a new haircut too.
It's "nice"!

Darling, please don't be angry with me okay?
I bet you know that inside out I always sayang you,
and also adore you much.
I just want to spend my 8.5 days happily with you.
and when I'm back we would be going to be 1 year together.
How fast isn't it?

Well, I'll always be looking forward to that day,
The day when I'll be back with loads of hugs & kisses
as well as goodies!

Busy

2009-11-08T07:38:00.000-08:00

Currently doing my homework for tomorrow,
ICA1 will be in a week time,
and so my departure.

My days have been great recently,
and hope to have a better days each day.

Waiting for Chelsea vs Manchester United to start,
Surprisingly darling allow me to watch,
and I'm so happy!

Darling you blog please!

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

2009-11-06T09:38:00.000-08:00

Just came back from watching Paranormal Activity,
First few minutes is kind of boring but after that,
quite scary and the ending is some SHYT!
Those who scared of sleeping alone at night,
better don't watch.
Well it's not really worth to watch,
too expensive just to scare yourself.

Anyway,I'm going to sleep soon,
Hope that when I wake up tomorrow,
I won't be able to remember this movie.
I'm weak spiritually.

こんにちわ！

2009-11-05T08:33:00.000-08:00

Have been learning Japanese Language in school,
so must show off a bit,
fyi:that Jap word means "Hello"

School is getting more and more boring,
and I am going off kinda soon,
in about 2 weeks time perhaps.

Kind of curious about what am I gonna do back in Indonesia,
guess I will have to study my arse off
for my forthcoming exam.
Darn!

Well,the good thing is I could finally reunite with my family,
and also meet my lil niece of mine!
I hope she's as cute as her uncle!

Btw..I'm going to sleep now,
so,
Goodnight people!
I posted a few photos below for you to see.

soooooooooooooooooooooooo,

2009-11-04T03:11:00.000-08:00

Have been staying at home for the last few days,
Was having a bad cought, sore-throat & flu,
Can't really breathe properly at night,
so ended up having a light snores which disturb my dear,
I'm sorry for that you couldn't have a good sleep.

Finally went to school today and it's so F-ing boring,
I don't feel that I'm learning anything at all,
stupid lectures.

Well, I'm off to do my assignment,
gotta finish quite a few assignment,
so later can watch tabboo.

BYE!

Bored

2009-10-30T20:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday nothing much happen,
I was having holiday,
And stay home all day...

Waiting for darling to come home,
to keep me company,
but she ended up sleeping all day...

Less than 3 weeks until my departure,
Hoping to enjoy every minute that I have now,
Hoping to make my loved ones happy...

I don't know what's gonna happen to me?
my studies?
and etc?
so confused yet I have to...

FIUH!

new blog for me???

2009-10-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

Kind of surprise that my darling design such a nice blog for me...
and now she's forcing me to blog.

Not many things happen though for the past few weeks.
I have just been trying to spend my remaining days HAPPILY with my darling
before I fly off.

FYI
I am currently:
-trying to focus on my studies
-trying to complete attend all my lectures
-trying to complete all my assignments on time
-trying to study hard
-trying to get back in shape

for 22 days more...

Lastly,
I will try to keep this blog ALIVE.

2009-10-27T20:11:00.001-07:00

Hello, Phyllis here.
Eh I'm so damn hugry.