For once I know what sacrifice means

You say you will change for me, for this relationship, but what’s the point?
You know I’ve always been passionate about this relationship and give everything to it. I’ve always been myself and I want you to always be yourselves too. As I told you, if a person has to change in order for a relationship to work then it is no longer love but sacrifices. Will you be happy if you change? Nobody would.

I hope you don’t ever think that I wanted to leave you because of your attitude and behavior. You shouted, scolded, beat and even slapped me, I don’t give a damn about all these things. I’ve never want to leave you. Never once in my life. But I just want you to realize what u are getting into if u were being with me. I might not always be there for you and it might be for months which I know you couldn’t take it. You said you will accept it, but my question is will you be happy?

As I grow up I have bigger responsibilities towards my family, you as well as my studies and work. I don’t have much time to spend with my family before and I really want to spend time with them. I have to accept that they are old, and they don’t have much time with me left. I just want to spend all the moments I have with them. Out of my 18 years of life, I have only lived with them for about 7 years. In that 7 years, I rarely saw my dad as he’s a workaholic and always go home late. In that 7 years I’ve seen my mum struggling to raise me and my siblings up and suffers from depression. I just want to spend time with them and show them that I appreciate everything they do for me. Well at least for once I just want to show them that I really love them. I can’t miss this chance and I don’t want to regret anymore.

On the other hand, I know you will be struggling waiting for me to come back. You will be struggling not seeing me for months. I know you will be in great pain. You have to think of yourself also. You have to find your own happiness also. Only then I could feel happy seeing you happy.

All I’m trying to do is that “I don’t want you to struggle with me and my life when you don’t have to.” You have the option but I don’t. I just want you to think wisely for this.