In the name of God

I’m currently having my attachment. I come to work everyday for nothing, do nothing, learn nothing and think that I’m wasting my time. But slowly I realized that I’m learning something very meaningful at my age which is how hard this life is. How bored you are, how tired you are, how lazy you are, how sad you are or even how sick you are, you still have to work in order to survive in this life. I’m not born with a silver spoon and I don’t like to be spoon-feed as well. Only until today, I finally realized everything that I have wasted and lost. I have wasted my time playing, wasted my money on stupid stuffs and most importantly wasted my parents money.
How long more could they live in this world? I don’t know why but this question always appear in my mind. Yet I have wasted their time and effort to teach me to do the right thing yet I chose to do the opposite. For that I’m really sorry.
There’s nothing I could do to pay them back. It’s really not easy to raise me, yet they still able to do it. My mum once suffered from stress mainly because of me. I always argue to her and want to do things my way. But, only until now then I realize how much she has sacrificed for me. My parents expect a lot from me as the rest of my siblings doesn’t have good education. They have been trying their best making me studies, paying for my tuition classes and stuffs. But what have I did? When I was in Primary 6 , I insulted them for sending me here. Throughout my secondary school life, I disappoint them with my results. And now in my Poly Year, I have wasted 2 years.
Is only until today that I realized all the sacrifice they made for me but I have been only just a disappointment for them. My parents are old and my father even has a heart-disease from smoking too much. How long can he stay on? I couldn’t even make him proud until this moment. I’m just afraid that I don’t have a chance to. My heart is seriously hurting. I just hope that I could spend more time with them but I can’t.
I don’t even have anything to offer to my parents at all. I’m a man with nothing but regrets. Regrets which can never be paid off.

To Mom & Dad,
Here I would like to apologize for everything that I’ve done. I know this word of “sorry” will never reach to you and you will never know about this post. However, deeply down my heart, I just want to apologize for everything. I just want to let you know that your son here has finally become a man. For that he will stop doing all the stupid things he always does. For that he will try to his very best to make you proud. For that he will appreciate everything you have done for me. For that he will learn from all his mistakes and never repeat it again. For that you will always in my heart. Thank you for everything.
Love,
Your son, Andrew